Silver Scribbles
by Defying.Expectations
Summary: Ongoing series of Sweeney Todd drabbles. Each chapter has a different theme with ten unconnected, nonlinear drabbles. Written following the rules of the iPod shuffle challenge.
1. All Things Sweeney

**Shuffle Challenge Rules:****  
****1. Pick a character, fandom, pairing, friendship, whatever.****  
****2. Put iTunes or your music program on shuffle and start playing songs.****  
****3. For each song, write something inspired by the song related to the theme you chose earlier. You only have the song length. No pre-planning and no writing after the song is over. No skipping songs either.****  
****4. Do this for ten songs.**

**Chosen theme: all ST characters.**

**A/N: **The awesome LadyCatfish27 did this a few weeks ago. I thought it looked like fun, so decided to have a go. Wow. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be! But it's definitely a good exercise for anyone interested in trying something very different. I'm thinking about doing it again, actually, with maybe only one or two ST characters. Really forces your inner editor to shut up.

Anyway, so here is the product of my experimenting with this challenge. I'm very tempted to edit/expand on most of these drabbles, as I ended up running out of time for just about all of them . . . but rules are rules. ;] And yes, I realize that four words doesn't exactly qualify as a drabble. Go easy on me; that song is 40 seconds long, and I wrote all this by hand, which always slows me down tremendously.

And I feel I should mention that I did skip one song that came up on my iPod as it was shuffling. But the song was A Little Priest, and I figured it would be pointless to write a ST drabble about a ST song.

* * *

**I. Finale from Wicked**

Nellie Lovett received no funeral. No one came to mourn her. No one was saddened by her death.

No one cared.

From somewhere deep in Bedlam, a voice cries to turn the grinder three times.

--

**II. Your Song from Moulin Rouge**

"I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."

If she whispers it enough in the darkness, maybe one day he'll hear. Maybe one day he'll care.

--

**III. Burning Love by Wynonna**

Love. It's something she's only ever read about in the forbidden books of her guardian.

But when Anthony comes, suddenly it's more than a word. It's a feeling. Knowledge. Truth.

Escape.

--

**IV. Christmas Bells from RENT**

Bells don't toll in Australia. They clash, they shudder, they shriek as they demand every convict rise to consciousness before morning has even considered dawning.

But they do not toll as did those in London, with that same energy, that same charm, that same beauty.

Not that he's sure he can recognize beauty anymore. Beauty, like happiness, is so far removed here that he sometimes doubts they ever existed.

Days come and go without comment, pass in indistinct blurs of suns rising and suns setting.

He's beginning to forget what being human feels like.

--

**V. Ordinary Day by Vanessa Carlton**

Their hands fit together. Perfectly. Like it is meant to be. Even if it never will be.

--

**VI. Golden Bangkok from Chess**

"And I would like to see Bangkok too," Johanna requests.

"Anywhere," Anthony promises. "Anywhere you want."

--

**VII. Steady as the Beating Drum from Pocahontas**

Her love never wavers.

--

**VIII. It Hurts To Be Strong from Carrie**

"I've got to tell you something."

The officer looks at Toby. Raises an eyebrow. "Yes?"

_maroon curls careful hands smiles smiling loving loves him_

"Nothing."

He can't tell.

--

**IX. No One by Alicia Keys**

Her parents say to not rush into this. Her sisters say it's an infatuation. Her friends say she can do better.

But when Benjamin Barker smiles at her, none of that matters.

--

**X. Crazy Love by Paula Abdul**

"You're in love," Mrs. Mooney announces.

"What, a woman's not allowed to love her husband?" says Nellie.

"Oh, it's him, is it?" Mooney questions with a smile that knows too much.

"'Course it is," Nellie asserts, but can't stop her gaze from flitting above towards Benjamin's room.


	2. Razors

**A/N: **Because I had a lot of fun with this last time – and because I'm trying to work on shutting up my inner editor as I write – I've decided that I'm going to make this something of a series. Each chapter will contain ten new drabbles for a new theme, be it a character, pairing, or idea.

I'll be taking requests for these, by the way. So if you have a particular theme you'd like to see, do let me know. =)

Most of the drabbles are longer this time, as I wrote them by keyboard rather than by hand. iTunes was also a lot meaner with its song selections this time 'round . . . xD

**Chosen theme: razors.**

* * *

**I. Night of Anguish from Les Miserables**

They don't let him bring his razors to prison. It sounds ridiculous even in his mind. Why should a razor matter to him when he is about to lose everything? But he misses the warmth of his silver friend. At least it would give him the illusion that he still has something to cling to.

--

**II. S.O.S. by ABBA**

Nellie sits on the floor of his room. He hasn't been inside of it in ten years. But it's still his to her. She's never let anyone else move in here. Hates the idea of someone else moving about what belongs to him.

She raps on the floor boards, pries away the loose one, and frees his razor box from the floor, settling it onto her lap. Unlatching the lid, she pulls out one of the razors. It's cold in her hand. She presses it between both of her palms to warm it. A foolish action, really, considering how frozen her hands are.

--

**III. Dreams by The Butterbeer Experience**

She dreams in shades of gray. No. In shades of silver.

He's everywhere even when he's nowhere. Nowhere near her, at least.

Arsenic is silver too. She takes that as a sign.

--

**IV. Today 4 U from RENT**

The boy watches him from the corner where he sits on top of his trunk. Already, Benjamin's forgotten his name. Just another poor Irish boy, eyes wide and gleaming as the razors shine in his eyes.

"Would you like to try?" Benjamin offers.

The boy's mouth drops. Hesitates.

"It's alright. Go on, take it."

The boy accepts the proffered razor. Holds it in his hand with reverence. Doesn't even want to polish it, or practice shaving away stubble he doesn't yet possess. Just holds it.

"Thank you," he whispers to the barber.

"Do you mind?" the half-shaven customer asks.

Benjamin apologizes and takes the razor away from the boy.

--

**V. Gaston [reprise] from Beauty and the Beast**

Toby knows that Mr. Todd is a monster, whatever Mrs. Lovett might say. He sees him with those razors, sees how comfortable the barber is with blades between his fingers. How natural it is for him to wield a weapon.

Only monsters are that comfortable with death in the palm of their hand.

--

**VI. It's My Life by No Doubt**

It's been fifteen years since she's seen him. Fifteen long, torturous years. Fifteen years of longing, of hoping, of needing.

And here he is. Home again.

Her love for him is so deep. So immeasurable. How she wishes that she could tell him how much she cares.

He's beautiful, so beautiful, even after all these years, even with that dark pain of countless unknowable anguishes burning in his gaze. She hopes one day he will share them all with her.

He lifts her from the box – _her_ – not one of the other razors that he usually favors, but _her _– and she knows that at last, he has taken notice. That at last he loves her just as much as she loves him.

--

**VII. Antissa by E.S. Posthumus**

Water reflects light just as a blade does, he observes as he clings to his makeshift raft, trying to convince himself that he is not alarmed by his current predicament, trying to soothe his jumping nerves with calming thoughts. His blades. He misses them.

He's turning blue and numb and God he is cold, and he wishes that he'd thought this out better. Escape is such a beautiful concept, such an intangible thought and hope and dream, that though he had meticulously planned how to escape, he had not pondered any farther than that. Had not planned how he would actually make his way home.

When he sees a ship approaching, he at first assumes he's delusional. Or maybe dead.

By some miracle, he's not.

His teeth are chattering so badly when they pull him on deck that he can barely stammer out his "thank you." The boy tells him to hush and wraps him in a blanket. The blanket is gray. He hopes this isn't the closest to silver he'll ever see again. That he'll survive this journey.

--

**VIII. The Weasley Way by The Butterbeer Experience**

"Johanna!" Lucy shrieks.

"What?" Benjamin cries, whirling around. "What's wrong?"

Lucy holds a sobbing Johanna in her arms. "She was reaching for your razors, Benjamin. I told you not to leave the case open!"

Benjamin smiles. "She isn't going to hurt anyone, Lucy. She just wants to be like her father."

--

**IX. Hear Me by Kelly Clarkson**

Sometimes she sleeps with the razor box beneath her pillow. It's the closest she'll ever get to hearing his heart beat in her ear.

Nellie knows that he isn't dead. Knows that one day he'll come back to London. He promised her, after all. Well, he promised Lucy – but Lucy isn't here anymore, and Nellie Lovett is, so she's taken the promise for her own. She's the only one who believes it, after all. Lucy doesn't deserve the beautiful barber if she can't even bring herself to continue living for him.

It's not particularly comfortable, resting one's head against a wooden box.

She sleeps more soundly than she has in years.

--

**X. Can't Help Falling In Love With You by Katharine McPhee**

"I'm sorry. I had to. One look, and I just knew."

"Benjamin," says Lucy with waning patience, "however much you might love them, we can't afford these razors."

"I know. Don't worry. I'll manage."

He and the blades are meant to be together. He just knows. And no amount of money can tear them apart.


	3. Hodgepodge of Ideas

**Chosen theme: whatever crap came into my half-delusional mind.**

* * *

**I. ****Super-cali-fragi-listic-expi-ali-docious **from Mary Poppins

She might as well be speaking gibberish for all that he hears. It isn't for lack of trying. He wants very much to hear each honeyed syllable falling from her lips, taste it in all its sweet glory, but he gets distracted merely by the sound, and forgets to hear the meaning of the words.

"Benjamin?" Lucy asks with a melodic laugh and a tap upon his shoulder. "You're not listening to me at all, are you?"

He smiles.

* * *

**II. Bye Bye Bye by N*SYNC**

He couldn't do it. He had to leave.

Certainly Benjamin didn't want to be sent to Australia, forced to leave behind his family, all that was worth living for.

But if he stayed, if he were forced to spend one final day staring into that stoic mask of a face – those eyes like the calculating ones of a vulture, always analyzing, always planning, always cruel – then he knew that he too would turn into something hard and unfeeling. Something that would lust for blood.

Benjamin did not want to become that man, and he knew he would if not forced to leave London. So perhaps it was a blessing in disguise.

* * *

**III. Big Rock Candy Mountain by Tom Chapin**

The lash of the prison guards burns like fire. Maybe worse. He wouldn't know. He's never experienced fire. It's one of the few horrors he's been blessed enough not to meet face to face as of yet. The only hell he does not know.

xxx

From the way she screams when he throws her into her oven, the flames must hurt just as much as the prison lash. The thought makes him smile.

* * *

**IV. Prima Donna from Phantom of the Opera**

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times – "

"Have a heart, dear," Lucy wheezes, grasping Nellie's hands in the shriveled things that pass for her own fingers.

Nellie wrenches away and flaps the dishtowel at her. "I told you. I don't have any money for you – or for myself, much less."

"Witch!" Lucy shrieks, cowering as she flees. "Witch!"

Oh, if only she were. Then this woman would be gone from her life and Benjamin would be home again and Nellie Lovett might actually be happy.

* * *

**V. Council Meeting (Instrumental) from Pocahontas**

Benjamin spits upon the street and watches as his spittle and blood mingles with the sewer water. He hates biting his tongue and tasting blood. He vows to never taste it again.

* * *

**VI. Number One by John Legend**

It isn't adultery if it's two different people than were originally married.

That's what Nellie Lovett tells herself, anyway.

She can't be considered as leading him into committing adultery. He's not Benjamin, after all. If there's one thing he's certain about amidst all the uncertainties in his wretched life, it's that fact. And Lucy's certainly not who she once was either.

They wouldn't be married now, not this monster and a madwoman. So she being in his bed instead of his precious Lucy – it's no sin.

Not that she could stop even if it was.

* * *

**VII. Someday by All-4-One**

Someday, the judge promises himself as he watches her through the window. When she sees him, she instantly turns away, tears spilling from her eyes, the rose-petal lips pursed in a bud that refuses to bloom. No matter.

Someday, she will be his.

xxx

Someday, the barber promises himself as he sweats out in the field. The guard's lash periodically flicks out in the air like a snake's tongue, waiting for one of the prisoners to blunder.

Someday, he will escape this hell and return to his beautiful family.

xxx

Someday, the wife promises herself as she again turns away from the window, shaking, nauseous. He will return. He must.

He can't.

She grabs the arsenic vial.

Someday isn't going to come.

* * *

**VIII. You Can't Win by Michael Jackson**

Lucy is dead.

He can cut as many throats as he pleases. He can stare out the window for as many hours as there are in a day and beyond. He can gaze at her picture or hurl bodies into the bakehouse or curse the God he no longer believes in.

It doesn't matter. She will still be gone.

Sometimes he wonders why he still bothers. Sometimes he wonders why his own throat is still whole.

Death would be easier. Death would bring rest. Respite.

But he does not deserve that. Not when he abandoned her as he did. It isn't much, what he does for her each day, but he does it willingly, because it's all he can give her and it still isn't enough and he'll make every being there is bleed upon the earth before admitting that she's indifferent to the sacrifice.

* * *

**IX. Molokov and Anatoly from Chess the Musical**

Johanna is a prisoner.

The judge is the jailer. Yet her mind consists of the bars.

Fifteen years locked in his mansion. She didn't know how good she had it until she was thrown into the asylum.

Asylum. A word meaning sanctuary, rest.

How far from the truth.

Maybe she would appreciate the irony of the word if she didn't have to hear the screams all night long.

* * *

**X. Let Me Entertain You from Gypsy**

Toby Ragg sometimes doesn't know if he has it worse now or if he had it worse at the workhouse.

But whenever he begins to wonder, his stomach decides for him. At least Pirelli feeds him more than cold gruel.

His lungs chime in too. At least he gets to breathe in fresh air while doing these sideshow stops.

So when two pale-faced, smirking crowd members begin to challenge this new life of his, declaring Pirelli a sham, it's all he can do to hold it together.

Sham or not, his money is not fake.


	4. Blood

**Chosen theme: blood.**

* * *

**I. I Dreamed A Dance from Next to Normal**

They drip with blood as they dance. Oozing red droplets from their skin the way rain drips from the London sky, continuous and slow, an endless refrain of salty bitterness and gloom.

His hands are warm on her waist, warm with life, sticky with blood that isn't his. Will hers be next? Is the blood that runs in his veins even his anymore? Or has he shed so much blood that it no longer belongs to him? Can it ever belong to her too?

* * *

**II. I Miss You Old Friend from Dreamgirls**

Oh, how he's missed them. And how they've missed him. Neglect is an abuse even worse than the sting of a prison lash. Flesh cut away by lacerations can be replaced; hours spent huddled alone with one's only company their aching mind cannot ever be found again.

He's changed. But they have too. The friendship can continue.

* * *

**III. What About Love by Heart**

When she cuts herself on the parchment she's writing a letter on, Benjamin coddles her like it's the end of the world, kissing her fingertip and murmuring her name through aching lips.

"It's just a paper cut, darling," says Lucy, pulling away her finger from his grasp with a tinkling little laugh.

He looks up at her, eyes dark. Her smile fades. She's never seen such a sober expression upon his face. There's precious little reason for sobriety in a house filled with such light and love; there's precious little reason for unhappiness in a happily-ever-after.

"I always wanted to protect you," he says sadly.

"It's just a paper cut, Ben," she says again, but her eyes are fixed on the blood stains on his lips, and this time she can't laugh.

* * *

**IV. I Don't Need Anything But You from Annie**

It throbs hot and vivid and so deliciously real in his veins. He hasn't felt so real in years. So alive. His head is pounding, his heart is pounding, his life is pounding, and as the customer slides down the chute leading to the bakehouse, he realizes that this is what it is to feel alive.

Suddenly he remembers his wife without remembering her – sees her without being able to see her – and he runs to his dresser and grabs her picture and stares at it until her image is again ingrained in his mind.

Until he can pretend it's still ingrained his memory.

* * *

**V. I Believe by Fantasia**

He dreams in shades of red.

He used to dream in gray. He doesn't understand why it's changed and he doesn't know if he likes it or not.

It's a beautiful color, to be sure, painted over everything as it is. He wishes every day the real world were this way. Then he would not have to create his own paint; then he could admire endlessly, sit at his leisure, knowing there was already justice in the world without his administration.

But sometimes it's too beautiful. Too vivid. Sometimes it blinds him, the way sometimes he's blinded by all these happy people outside the window, or by the lust to create a wound in someone else so that his own might seal, or by the memories of Lucy that he can no longer see –

Sometimes he just wants to see a rainbow without having his vision veiled by precious rubies.

* * *

**VI. Tikal by E.S. Posthumus**

He should know that he's going to die tonight.

He should be able to sense it in the way the barber moves about the room. The way the barber paces like a predator with coiled muscles and tight steps, the way the barber's voice is too casual and interested in what he has to say, the way the obsidian ice blocks that the barber has for eyes flash with fire when he tells the barber he's a visitor to London with no family to his name.

He should leave.

But he didn't, and he couldn't, and he doesn't.

So he dies and becomes one more body – soon to be nameless, soon to be meatless, soon to be bloodless, lifeless, choiceless – upon the floor.

* * *

**VII. Shining Time by Maren Ord**

Every time his hands touch her skin, she dares to believe that they have a future beyond this. Beyond blood, beyond pies, beyond Fleet Street.

Beyond pain.

He never precisely encourages her, but he doesn't turn away her fancies either. A nod of the head here, a caress on her elbow there, a nod of acknowledgement here, a heart-breaking smile there. Enough to feed the thread-bare beliefs and convince her there's still more fabric in their future.

* * *

**VIII. When The Sun Goes Down from In The Heights**

When the sun goes down, he can't see blood anymore. Certainly he can keep his shop open late, and certainly an occasional man will stumble in during these late hours, but it's not the same when he can hardly see the beautiful rubies being liberated from flesh.

Perhaps that's why he starts to come to her when the sun disappears from the sky. Perhaps that's how all this starts. Perhaps that's why he almost doesn't mind wiping away her tears after another miscarriage: because her sheets are red, and she is red, and the sight is almost too beautiful to bear.

* * *

**IX. I Remember/Stranger Than You Dreamt It from Phantom of the Opera**

Once she had a dream that it was Sweeney Todd lying on the floor of her bakehouse.

She chopped him up like all the others. Stripped off his clothes with a more professional demeanor than a whore, put her knives into his flesh and watched the blood drip out without a flinch, didn't bother to avert her eyes for modesty's sake. Treated him no differently than the others.

She awoke gasping and shaking, clutching her bed sheets to her chest and wishing he were there to sooth away the nightmare.

* * *

**X. Endgame #3/Chess Game #3 from Chess the Musical**

In the end, she knows how it will end.

She knows there's no seaside waiting for her. No little cottage, no pies stuffed with strawberries rather than humans, no rolling waves. No sand between her toes.

No future without blood.

Still she tells herself there is. Still she tells herself there will be.

Still she tells herself it won't end in blood.

It has to. Deep down, she knows it must. It started in blood, they were born in blood, and so it, and so they, must end in blood. Rags to riches only happens in the fairy tales. In reality, those with riches always keep them, and those in rags can never sew their attire back together.

In reality, the only ocean she'll ever glimpse again is their own, rolling waves of salty crimson as it spills from their bodies and runs together in their last confession of pain.

* * *

**A/N:** Reviews make the world go 'round. And it'd be really sad if said world stopped spinning.


End file.
